The ultimate mind games are the ones abusers use with their victims. Convincing the victim they are powerless, without options, and totally under the power of the abuser. Not hard to do to a small child. Children and adults are groomed to accept abuse. As long as they believe they are powerless, nothing changes.
Emerging From Broken As long as I believed I was doomed to be stuck in abusive situations, I was. As long as I believed that it was different for me, ~ it was. As long as I thought that there was no answer, there wasn’t. It was when I believed that there was a way out, that I just had to find it, ~ that made the difference for me. I had to change my thinking. I had to find a glimmer of hope and I did. Because it worked so well, I wanted to provide that glimmer of hope for others. Believing that there WAS a way for me to overcome all of this was one of the first keys that got me started on my journey to wholeness. ~Darlene Ouimet Emerging from Broken; the Beginning of Hope for Emotional Healing
I valiantly held on to the hope that something would change…as one year led to another I started to loose that thread of hope. My life completely unraveled when I was in my 30’s. I started fighting back around 35. When I was 44 I was diagnosed with cancer, caught in the early stages, I beat it. Couple of years later I finally entered counseling. My thread of hope that I clung to had more threads added. My counselor did not change my abuse, my abusers, or my past. My counselor taught me how to change. He was a teacher. I was a pupil willing to learn that what I learned as a child was lies. I am powerful. I do not have to tolerate abuse. I do not have to love my abuser. Bit by bit I worked to change my life. One of the key aspects for me was my belief and hope in Jesus Christ. I believe in hope. It is the pin prick of light in the darkest of holes that tells me, there is more to life than being a victim.
2 thoughts on “Finding hope”
I think this is one of the hardest things to accept–that someone would willfully feed us a corral of lies, for their own benefit, especially when that person was supposed to love and protects us.
It is difficult and I fought that acceptance for a long time. Then I had several events that confirmed it was intentional and thought out. It shifted my way about thinking about myself. If they lie, then their assessment of me might also be a lie. A huge burden lifted off my shoulders. I am not what they defined me to be.