Tears of loss

I started counseling over 15 years ago.  At the time, I told my counselor I could count on one hand how many times I had cried, then I named them.  He taught me that crying was an expression of deep emotion and was good for releasing pent up feelings.  I was ridiculed as a child so taught myself not to respond with tears.  Many sessions were spent attempting to break through the rigid childhood training.  Tears did not come easily at first.  Eventually, I hit several years of tears 4 and 5 times a week.  I felt like a watering pot. As time went on, my emotions stabilized.  I cry when I am sad and sometimes when I am happy.  Today I cried for loss.  Slow moving morning traffic frustrated me since I knew I was running late and now I was running later.  Then I drove by the source of my aggravation.  A mangled motorcycle lay crumpled on its side; a massive damp spot around it.  I prayed that damp spot was gasoline because no rider could survive the loss of that much blood.  I felt tears trickle down my cheeks.  I didn’t know who the rider might be, but whoever it was their life changed dramatically this morning if he survived at all.  I cried for loss of opportunities.  Broken bodies take time to mend.  Possibly the person loss their job or financial loss or loss of their life.  I cried most of the way to work.  I felt deep compassion for the unknown rider and I tried to watch out for motorcyclist for the rest of the day.  Tears relieve deep felt emotions allowing acknowledgement of strong emotions.

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