Feel your feelings

One of the biggest obstacles I had to over come was my own rejection of my emotions.  My hero in high school was Mr. Spock because he had no feelings.  I felt totally betrayed when one episode showed him raging with anger.  I was told over and over again stupid people got bored.  I was…

Living in fear

Living is fear is not new to me.  My counselor pointed out I lived a fear based life.  My childhood revolved around jumping through ever changing hoops to avoid some punishment.  Then there were the weirdness of some punishments I preferred.  If I complained about eating a meal with bell pepper in it, I would…

Sneaky Grief

My counselor did not warn me when he helped me reconnect to emotions that these pesky things are messy, sneaky, inconvenient and down right troublesome.  I am struggling in a morass of emotions of my own making.  But I’ve never been happier, more at peace or better adjusted.  Too many people want to runaway from…

Can’t Make Him Happy

I belong to 2 CPTSD/PTSD groups on Facebook.  I don’t remember which one posted the question but a woman asked how she could help her little girl be happy again because they were going on a mother/daughter trip and the daddy said he would be sad while they were gone.  The little tender hearted girl…

Name that emotion

One of the challenges I experienced was dissociation.  I separated myself so completely from my emotions that I could not name what I felt at any given time.  Much of the time I felt gray…..I spent months taking pictures of gray trying to find the one the exemplified how I felt. After hundreds and hundreds…

Sad and continued sad

Sadness and sorrow and grieving are no longer accepted in society.  Feeling these emotions is now taboo.  The assault on sadness is long time story.  I remember at the earliest age the concept of a British stiff upper lip, enduring without showing any emotion for great losses.  As a child I was punished for being…

Emotion Regulation is not

Stopping or cutting off emotions.  Dissociation/cutting off emotions is like freezing frogs….as soon as you thaw them they are hopping all over just the same.  Why do I know this?  I used dissociation to obliterate anger and other negative emotions.  Sadly it did the same thing to love and happiness…only the emotions didn’t go away,…