Alice asked the Cheshire Cat which road she should take:
“Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
The Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don’t much care where.
The Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn’t much matter which way you go.
Alice: …So long as I get somewhere.
The Cheshire Cat: Oh, you’re sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
If you know where you are going that is called having a goal. If you have a goal make a plan of how to get there.
I hate New Year’s resolutions because of the horrible breaking sound on January 2nd when those resolutions are broken. The thing I noticed about resolutions they are usual phrased in negative terms, ‘watch less TV’, ‘lose weight’, ‘stop playing video games.’ Those negative commands almost never work. However, if I know where I am going I’ll look up suggestions, use maps, work with others as to how I can get to where I want to go. These suggestions and plans translate to baby steps in the direction I want to go. I also learned during counseling to be flexible. What I thought was a worthy goal, get a degree in engineering, was making miserable. I changed it to get a college degree then get a college degree in Photography, I succeeded because I wanted to arrive at that goal so took the necessary steps to get there. When I started counseling, I had no idea where I was. I lived in a dark hole for so long I didn’t know I was in a dark hole. The first thing my counselor did was shine some light on how completely screwed up I was. Then he gave me a goal I didn’t even understand he said very early on in my counseling, “I don’t want you to just survive, I want you to thrive.” After thinking about this for a week I came back and asked him what thriving was. Spent a fascinating 45 minutes learning about a concept that I had no understanding of. But I took on the challenge not knowing what thriving meant and headed in the direction he pointed me. Some days I was crawling towards that goal. Guess what? Crawling towards a goal will eventually get you there. Over 15 years later, I am thriving. Growing, learning new things, working almost full time, taking on huge challenges and succeeding. I would never have arrived here if I hadn’t taken my counselors words on faith that I would eventually get to this place called Thrive. Know where you want to go then make the goals and choices that will get you there.