Know where you are going

Alice asked the Cheshire Cat which road she should take:

“Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
The Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don’t much care where.
The Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn’t much matter which way you go.
Alice: …So long as I get somewhere.
The Cheshire Cat: Oh, you’re sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.”

Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

If you know where you are going that is called having a goal.  If you have a goal make a plan of how to get there.

I hate New Year’s resolutions because of the horrible breaking sound on January 2nd when those resolutions are broken.  The thing I noticed about resolutions they are usual phrased in negative terms, ‘watch less TV’, ‘lose weight’, ‘stop playing video games.’  Those negative commands almost never work.  However, if I know where I am going I’ll look up suggestions, use maps, work with others as to how I can get to where I want to go.  These suggestions and plans translate to baby steps in the direction I want to go.  I also learned during counseling to be flexible.  What I thought was a worthy goal, get a degree in engineering, was making miserable.  I changed it to get a college degree then get a college degree in Photography, I succeeded because I wanted to arrive at that goal so took the necessary steps to get there.  When I started counseling, I had no idea where I was.  I lived in a dark hole for so long I didn’t know I was in a dark hole.  The first thing my counselor did was shine some light on how completely screwed up I was.  Then he gave me a goal I didn’t even understand he said very early on in my counseling, “I don’t want you to just survive, I want you to thrive.”  After thinking about this for a week I came back and asked him what thriving was.  Spent a fascinating 45 minutes learning about a concept that I had no understanding of.  But I took on the challenge not knowing what thriving meant and headed in the direction he pointed me.  Some days I was crawling towards that goal.  Guess what?  Crawling towards a goal will eventually get you there.  Over 15 years later, I am thriving.  Growing, learning new things, working almost full time, taking on huge challenges and succeeding.  I would never have arrived here if I hadn’t taken my counselors words on faith that I would eventually get to this place called Thrive.  Know where you want to go then make the goals and choices that will get you there.

Happy New Year everyone. 



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