These past months heart break touched our family.  Our little granddaughter came to stay on Earth for less than an hour.  I sometimes wish that the old traditions of being allowed to mourn for a year was still in practice.  This is what I am learning.  Today’s culture of everyone must be happy is destroying the time people need to mourn.  Yes, I said NEED.  Brushing suffering away like it was yesterday’s garbage diminishes who we are and what we feel.  I also learned that it is random moments that hit the hardest.  I am not braced for the stack of unused baby blankets I made waiting for a baby that didn’t stay.  I cry when I am alone because a month has passed and some how I am supposed to be OK.  I’m not.  The funeral was beautiful.  The burial place gentle and peaceful.  I’m learning as I go forward that grief changes people.  It is a life changing experience it should change me.  I am understanding more and more each day that this need to brush things away and ‘move on’ keeps people from using these experiences to reconsider the direction they are going in.  Perhaps the traumatic event should be treated as a pivotal point not to define me but open new paths or create a course correction in my life.  Still processing so much emotion.  One attitude I did not expect to feel is deep humble gratitude for my son and his wife for sharing their precious daughter with us when they had so little time together.

This article came from someone that is experiencing deep grief.  I appreciate her sharing it.

https://johnpavlovitz.com/2017/01/05/the-grieving-need-you-most-after-the-funeral/