Sometimes defining what we call abuse is helpful to identify what is what.  People do not all respond or define abuse the same way.  Sometimes when I read a definition I would feel bewildered because it happened to me all the time and it was just the way I was treated, the behavior was not identified as abuse until I was an adult.  Here is where things get troubling.  If you identify one behavior and point to it as abuse, other behaviors may be missed.  Emotional or physical abuse may be so pervasive that the grooming for sexual abuse later in their life goes unnoticed.  Neglect may stand out so much that emotional or one of the other abuses may not be thought about.  Sometimes I was so thankful to be left alone, I didn’t realize that in reality that isolating me was another form of abuse.  When I switch counselors my two counselors met with me there and discussed where I was at.  The second counselor asked, “What form of abuse are we talking about?”  My first counselor’s immediate response, “All of them.”  Getting a 100% is not always a good thing.  For definition purposes I did a quick search on defining what is abuse.  Internet is awesome.  Immediately popped up an 85 page document that defines abuse State by State.  Every so often I am reminded that the United States is made up of a bunch of smaller governments each making a slightly different set of rules.  I will include the link plus over the next few days comment on each general definition.  I will intermix this with other stuff since a day after day discussion of abuse is depressing, especially when I realize I lived through all of them.  I am thankful to whatever person put on on Facebook:  WE HAVE LIVED THROUGH 100% of our bad days. I also like a bad day or chapter does not make it a bad life.  I also like Dave Pelzer’s statement, “I like the man who I am today, I would not be that man without these experiences.”

PDF of State Government definitions of abuse: https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/define.pdf

Cactus that I visited often, shot up and damaged and still blooms in the blistering heat of summer.

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