Question of Church

Yes, my abusers went to the same church as I did. I was blamed by people at church.  I experienced victim shaming at church.  There are unpleasant people at church.  So why do I still attend church?  My relationship with God, the Father and Jesus Christ are not about them.  I felt the promptings of…

Every Part of my Life

I was once asked by a counselor what aspects of my life were impacted by PTSD.  Simple answer, “All of it.” There is not one part of my life left untouched by PTSD, or some people are calling multiple event trauma Complex PTSD.  I struggled with understanding how deeply I am affected.  I was raised…

Defining abuse

Sometimes defining what we call abuse is helpful to identify what is what.  People do not all respond or define abuse the same way.  Sometimes when I read a definition I would feel bewildered because it happened to me all the time and it was just the way I was treated, the behavior was not…

It’s her fault

All over people are celebrating the blessings of mothers and motherhood.  Sadly, it is not a day of celebration for many.  Heart break when you can’t have children.  Heart break when a baby doesn’t live.  Heart break of a still born child or miscarriage.  Heart break of losing a mother to drugs, alcohol or death. …

Not Selfish

Self-care is not selfish.  Hard to believe this or implement it if as a child you are told that getting enough to eat is being selfish.  I was told I had to go hungry so my brother could have seconds.  Sad thing, food would spoil in the refrigerator because it wasn’t eaten fast enough.  As…

Hidden forms of abuse

My daughter posted a link to a list of hidden forms of abuse.  Those behaviors that fall in the category of deniable.  The abuser turns things around and blames the victim. https://tapoos.com/relationships/9-abusive-behaviors-not-physical/?utm_source=virmed&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=VMPub146 Gaslighting – This is an intentional war on the mind and emotions of another person.  It is coined from a movie from the…

Family Headache or heartache

Almost everyone has challenges with their family…for one there is history….sometimes a long, ugly history.  Expectations are often higher for family than for friends.  Walking away from family can be complicated or feels impossible.  Guilt trips and button pushing can abound.  I also seen another side of family filled with acceptance, encouragement, standing by each…

Tunnel Vision

I am about to get on my soapbox and rant…..if you are not interested in reading a rant….please, tune in tomorrow when I am feeling a bit more reasonable. I am frustrated and discouraged by some counselors, lay people, acquaintances, webpages, memes, and others not specifically mentioned that try to over simplify Complex PTSD.  It…