Survivors rarely self-care

One of the things pounded into abuse victims is they are not worth caring for or even getting the basics like enough food, proper clothing, or bathroom breaks.  Conditioning trains them to view self-care as selfish and how dare they not meet the needs of the abuser first.  Then comes a change and the victim becomes a survivor…then they carry on the abuse by neglecting or not caring for themselves.  Actually taking care of yourself is a real challenge.  Sometimes I don’t feel like I’ve done enough to deserve self-care.  It is an upward battle to recognize that balanced diet, enough sleep, self-care is not a some day luxury, it is what we need to learn to do every day.  For those that grew up with lack and deprivation, learning what are the basics and we deserve to get them seems a little far fetched.  When I am feeling out of sorts or super guilty or some other trauma trigger I’m even worse to myself.  What to do?

I love being involved with groups that share ideas on Facebook…yup, good things can happen on Facebook. The link they shared was “How to Make an Emergency Self-Care Kit.”

https://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelwmiller/how-to-make-an-emergency-self-care-kit

Yes, you need to make your own because you are the only one that knows what will help in your basket.

I like the way they recommend to get at least one thing for each of the 5 senses.  Create the basket then use it for more than just extreme emergencies.  Use it on I could use a little help days.  Use it on I feel out of sorts days.  Practice self-care OFTEN.  You deserve to be cared for.  I noticed that on the days I take care of myself, my darkest thoughts reduce or it is the other way around that on my days when my thoughts are lighter I think more about caring for myself.  Which comes first the chicken or the egg…..

Any whooo, setting up the basket and placing where you can easily get to it will be a physical reminder that you need and deserve the good things in life.

If you are opposed to baskets, boxes, bags or any other container will do.  Getting things to care for yourself and enjoy doing, listening to, or munching is many steps in the right direction of caring for yourself.

 

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