Fear of Success

Raised in trauma with my earliest memories terrifying, I could list off a huge number of fears.  Fear of the dark, fear of strangers, fear of stray dogs, fear of blah…blah…blah.  The one I didn’t expect ever and was totally unaware of until counseling was a fear of success.  I was puzzled for a long…

Mile in my shoes

Before judging me and my choices, walk a mile in my shoes…..then you are a mile away and I can’t hear you.   Too often it is comments and words and ‘well meaning’ advice that can really hurt.  Instead of expecting other people to watch what they say, I am working on a list of…

Met the enemy

And they is us….. Old quote hung around for years and years because it still applies.  My sister reposted a meme that spells out one of my greatest challenges. I learned so much in counseling, yet I catch myself on the same self destructive paths, repeat ad nauseum. Heavy sigh.  Sick for a three day…

Stand up for yourself

To that nasty voice in your head.  Fire your mean boss.  The one that expects perfection the first time.  Expects you to work harder, longer, and more committed than any one else.  That boss in the mirror that criticizes your every move and points out every mistake.  One of the things that I appreciate about…

Survivors rarely self-care

One of the things pounded into abuse victims is they are not worth caring for or even getting the basics like enough food, proper clothing, or bathroom breaks.  Conditioning trains them to view self-care as selfish and how dare they not meet the needs of the abuser first.  Then comes a change and the victim…

Contented Happy People

Don’t change. Ever noticed that the people making the changes in the world are unhappy, angry, discontented, and the whole list of negative emotions are the ones that create the changes.  Advertising companies spend billions of dollars trying to persuade people that they cannot be happy until they do___________, buy __________ or become _____________.  Yes…

Boiling Water

Some themes, poems, stories and experiences stick with me, mulling them over and over.  I take them out and reread them and consider their import….why do I keep thinking about some of these?  One such story is The Potato, the egg and Hot chocolate (I like it better than coffee in the original story.) Story…