Time of reflection

This month started out with a bang, DH went to the emergency room…..very rare occurrence..our children kept asking if it was me instead.  Turns out he is now on temporary disability and a lot of pain.  Thankful to a lady from church that provided some relief and pain management tools.  Followed by my mother dying.  Then all the fun of Christmas and preparations for giving gifts I made.  Fortunately, I worked on these for a long time before and most were ready and packages shipped in time for Christmas.  Now, next week is New Year day.  This year was HARD.  No doubt about it.  Started and ended with deaths.  I am ready for this year to be over.  This week I will reflect on my progress.  I learned there are several axioms to reflection for it to be effective….learned these mostly from my first counselor.

  1. NO comparisons allowed…I may not compare myself to other people.  Their journey is different than mine.  Their talents and gifts are different than mine.  Their challenges and discouragements are different than mine.  I can always find some one that appears to be doing better and always find examples of those that are worse off.  Comparisons to others is useless and counterproductive.
  2. No beating myself up for mistakes.  I am human therefore I will make mistakes.  It is part of living.
  3. I decide if what I am doing is good enough….don’t let other people opinion discourage me.  Also don’t let other people opinions get me pompous either.  Their opinion is their responsibility.  It is nice to know people like me but if I am playing my best only in front of them it is not a healthy choice.  Authenticity is messy and a vital part of living.
  4. If I don’t like where I am, what an I going to do to change it?  No looking for rescuers or others to make my life easy.  Life isn’t supposed to be easy.  My opinion is if life is easy, I am not trying enough new things.
  5. Setting new goals without reflecting on my past accomplishments keeps me from seeing my own progress.  I deserve to acknowledge that I am working at improving my life.  Also it helps to build new goals on the successes of this year.
  6. Goals are not set in stone.  For me, they are guidelines to help me focus my limited energy.  Without goals I tend to do a lot of busy work without actually accomplishing much.
  7. Resolutions break.  Mend them, reset them, and try again.  There is no failure just do it again and again and again until I can master what I desire to do.
  8. Sometimes an idea needs to be abandoned because I let someone else’s goal start to control my life.  Changing my mind about the direction I am heading is OK.  Course correction through out the year is for my benefit and blessing.

These are just a few things I try to keep in mind as a ponder where I went this year and where I plan to go next year.


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