Summary of questions

I explored James Ryan’s speech on good questions this week.  I hope you had time to read the speech for yourself.  Here is his summary: My claim is that if you regularly ask: wait, what, I wonder, couldn’t we at least, how can I help, and what really matters, when it comes time to ask…

What really matters?

I believe in many ways this is the pivotal question that gets distorted in an abuse situation.  What really matters was all about appeasing my abuser to survive one more day.  What really matters was second guessing and jumping through hoops hoping I made it through them fast enough before the boom fell.  Violence and…

Illogical solution

How can I help? When I am totally overwhelmed, it is illogical to serve someone else.  However, one of life’s paradoxes is helping others helps me feel less overwhelmed.  I tested it repeatedly and it works.  It is more fun to do dishes at my kids house than at my own house.  My heart feels…

Sometimes the answer is NO

I put off this question because it is staring me in the face right now….. “Couldn’t we at least…?” This is the question to ask that will enable you to get unstuck, as they say. It’s what enables you to get past disagreement to some consensus, as in couldn’t we at least agree that we…

Change the question

I asked for years what was wrong with me.  No answers….I asked my parents and my doctor.  Nothing.  Medical test showed I was healthy….then why did I pass out?  My parents told me I was like every other teenager.  I talked to other teenagers and they didn’t react like I did.  I learned two things…

Questions to know more

I work at a high school.  Over and over again the teachers ask, “Do you have any questions?”  Students are absolutely silent.  Then they begin their work and becomes painfully obvious that they needed to ask questions.  I learned to do this myself.  I asked questions about everything.  When I first worked in a computer…

Family Roles

I became unreasonably dismayed that my online art therapy teacher asked me to make a family tree as one of the projects.  I pushed pause and walked away. (Nice advantage of an online class.) I took all day to hash through why I was so unreasonably upset over a simple assignment.  Well, with my family…

To the Pain

A challenge in “Princess Bride” rather than a fight to the death it would be a fight to the pain.  The description stayed vivid in my mind.  The implication is death is preferred to pain and pain must be avoided at all cost.  Through my life experience I learned that isn’t always true.  When I…