I explored James Ryan’s speech on good questions this week. I hope you had time to read the speech for yourself. Here is his summary:
My claim is that if you regularly ask: wait, what, I wonder, couldn’t we at least, how can I help, and what really matters, when it comes time to ask yourself “And did you get what you wanted out of life, even so,” your answer will be “I did.” https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/16/05/good-questions
Two things had to occur for me to tackle these questions. One, I needed to believe I could question my life. That was important. As long as I stuck to the status quo, I would stay stuck in my deep hole of depression.
“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”
― Henry Ford
The second thing I needed to accept was rule number one of counseling, “Stop lying, especially to yourself.” Counseling opened my eyes to the lies I was told and what I told myself to survive in insanity. I had to stop lying about how I was treated. I had to stop lying that everything was wonderful in my childhood. I had to stop lying that nothing bothered me. I had to stop lying and creating a fantasy land that only existed in my mind. Harsh reality was difficult to face but once I did, I could move forward through the bog that is my life. I keep cleaning out and clearing out distortions, lies, and manipulated truths. I still slip back to “I’m FINE” mode but inside my head I remind myself to not lie to myself. If I’m not FINE it is not the end of the world. It is OK.
Link to water carrier story: