Pray for your enemy

I am Christian….recently I was introduced to a different concept of praying for your enemy.  I often feel like I am my own worse enemy.  My mean boss expects me to arrive early to work, stay 15 minutes later, and work on projects from school, even when I am home sick.  I call myself names…

Struggle with Self Care

How does one learn to care for themselves when they were neglected/abused as a child?  What does being cared for look like?  I thought for years since I had a roof over my head, food to eat, and clothes to wear I was taken care of.  I didn’t know anything different.  Raising my own children…

PTSD gets blamed

One of the most fascinating insights to come out of my counseling is PTSD isn’t always to blame.  Sometimes life is plain hard no matter what your past experiences threw at you.  I appreciated Annie Wright sharing her perspective on Adulting and Humaning.  I blame PTSD but sometimes: Adulting’s not always easy. And humaning can…

What I do struggle with

I thought a lot about what I wrote over the past couple of days.  The articles looking for an easy answer, the one about people oversimplifying problems, and my rant.  I realize that every single abuse survivor walks around with a different set of scars and reactions to the World.  I am making this list…

Tunnel Vision

I am about to get on my soapbox and rant…..if you are not interested in reading a rant….please, tune in tomorrow when I am feeling a bit more reasonable. I am frustrated and discouraged by some counselors, lay people, acquaintances, webpages, memes, and others not specifically mentioned that try to over simplify Complex PTSD.  It…

Similar frustration

My friend posted an article about cancer patients that are bombarded with ‘easy answers’ and ‘insensitive advice’.  Steven Thrasher the author shared his sister’s experience with cancer.  https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/mar/26/do-not-tell-cancer-patients-cures-they-could-be-doing She fought for 15 years before the cancer beat her.  He shares how people advised her to drink juice, do yoga, be cheerful and many other less…

Exhausted

I’m exhausted….but when I fall asleep I only sleep a short time before waking again.  If I sleep earlier, I wake up earlier.  If I actually do starting getting more sleep…..nightmares increase.  Insomnia sucks, a lot.  I actually researched sleep, read books on it and I learned that not enough sleep alone can cause severe…

Collapse

I push my body and push my body until I collapse.  I put up with this since I was 15 years old.  I am going a long, then bam my entire system shuts down.  Happened in the car today and yes I was driving.  Thank my overworked guardian angel, I didn’t hit anything or anyone. …

Feeling left out

I wanted to write an article with references about PTSD/CPTSD and relationships.  Bless my husband for sticking with me through a rollercoaster of experiences and counseling.  I want to share tips and ideas plus share resources to back up what I am writing.  Frustration is finding articles that don’t talk about before and after trauma. …