I read long posts on Facebook and find amazing stuff. I am not the author but I certainly believe this applies. I am working on how I talk to myself. It is challenging and this Facebook post gave me a lot to think about. Sometimes I am dreading something, so I actually set myself up to seeing the negative in a situation. Enjoy your day.
· In the business coaching I do, I work so much with adults who have years of unhelpful (or harmful) self talk to reprogram that it has really made me notice repetitive phrases that we use at home. For example, I’ve noticed lately how much Mika (8) uses the words, “I can’t wait to…”.He couldn’t wait for Halloween and then snow and now Christmas. But it’s also for smaller things like dessert or finding out what happens to a character in a book or for a painting to dry… I didn’t want to feel like I was policing his speech, but I was curious to dig into what has clearly become a habit. Because words – especially words we use often – are little portals into our blindspots, into our unconscious ways of thinking and being. So we talked about it. He said he was using it as shorthand for, “I’m excited about this thing in the future. “I can see that. But I also saw that no matter what he received or what happened in the present, there was a significant part of him constantly leaning out towards that future state where somehow, unconsciously, he believed that the REAL excitement lived. This is how we program ourselves. By saying things unconsciously on repeat to the point where they feel 100% true. And in this case he was programming himself for impatience. To not be fully embodied in the moment. So we tried on a few other ways of conveying excitement about a future outcome/state while staying rooted in the present. “I’m so happy I get to… celebrate Christmas!” Or “I’m so happy that Christmas is coming.” as opposed to “I can’t wait for Christmas!” Maybe I’m nitpicking but there’s a nuance there – “I’m so happy” – this is happiness in the present. Which is fully truthful – happiness in the present at the thought of something that’s coming. There’s gratitude in there too since he is happy he gets to do something… even if the something is literally anticipating a future event. Energetically, it puts him into a state of gratitude rather than that unrequited love feeling. You might be rolling your eyes, but when you work with highly driven entrepreneurs the way I do, I can tell you that these nuances are where people rest as they build empires. If you program yourself for impatience, you’re always going to be in some sort of gap. And it can literally cause physical stress. If you program yourself for excitement and gratitude, you’ll be fuelled for the long game. What do you think? Do you or would you now notice some of your own thought patterns and work to rewire them to make them more nourishing?