I asked for years what was wrong with me. No answers….I asked my parents and my doctor. Nothing. Medical test showed I was healthy….then why did I pass out? My parents told me I was like every other teenager. I talked to other teenagers and they didn’t react like I did. I learned two things…
I work at a high school. Over and over again the teachers ask, “Do you have any questions?” Students are absolutely silent. Then they begin their work and becomes painfully obvious that they needed to ask questions. I learned to do this myself. I asked questions about everything. When I first worked in a computer…
A challenge in “Princess Bride” rather than a fight to the death it would be a fight to the pain. The description stayed vivid in my mind. The implication is death is preferred to pain and pain must be avoided at all cost. Through my life experience I learned that isn’t always true. When I…
I followed a link to another link to another one until I landed on this link about What is DBT? http://behavioraltech.org/resources/whatisdbt.cfm Reading about DBT I realized that this is part of what my counselor did with me. My counselor used a variety of methods depending on what I seemed to respond to. He learned that…
I was raised with a taboo about emotions. I was not taught to recognize and rejoice in my emotions. My mother couldn’t control her emotions so she controlled mine. Worked to. My teen idol was Mr. Spock. I thought I would be perfect if I could show no emotion. I felt totally betrayed when they…
The original title for the workbook I am doing was going to be Slogging through PTSD, which I believe is far more accurate than most people want to admit. One of the stories it asked you to imagine you are in a bog, up to your hips in ooze, and as the day heats up…
One of the hard things about being raised by a person the violates your boundaries on a daily basis is that you don’t realize when someone else is doing the same thing since it is what you are used to having happen. Thanks to Jonsi and other internet friends I became more aware. In counseling,…
Rarely show outside scars. Trigger Alert articles may be triggering for some readers. Two articles came to my attention today. One comes from Lilly Hope Lucario sharing how she felt at the beginning of her journey of healing. https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2013/04/28/complex-ptsd-is-an-isolating-severe-exhausting-disorder/ Her description so vividly described how I felt so often at the beginning of my healing…
A friend posted a link of what they wanted their daughter to know when things get real. Looks a lot like the list my counselor had me work on to learn to live instead of just survive. Early in my counseling he gave me the challenge “to thrive not just survive.” Game ON!!!! http://www.scarymommy.com/want-my-daughter-know-as-grows-up/ Language…
The ultimate mind games are the ones abusers use with their victims. Convincing the victim they are powerless, without options, and totally under the power of the abuser. Not hard to do to a small child. Children and adults are groomed to accept abuse. As long as they believe they are powerless, nothing changes. …
PTSD - Accepting, Coping, Thriving 