Self-compassion

Learning Self-compassion is a long term goal. I can actually say I made improvements.  I am grieving a huge loss, instead of beating myself up for not moving mountains and working as if nothing happened, I am giving myself time each day to feel sad.  I cry when I need to.  I am not expecting…

Compliments

I did it for years.  I negated every and any compliment I received.  If someone said I did something well, I pointed out what I messed up.  Every compliment was turned aside or ignored.  I wouldn’t….couldn’t see myself as a good person, so compliments must be a lie.  Turned my world upside down and inside…

Affirmations

Many besides Pavelka use affirmations as part of their toolbox of things to do to help cope with life.  I take a dim view of them since my mother used an affirmation that she taught her students but she didn’t really believe what she said.  I get the concept but I saw a negative example. …

Magic Words

I am continuing my take on each one of Pavelka’s Toolbox.  Today’s post is about the magic words.  Yup, old fashion but still powerful and healing. Please Thank You I’m sorry I don’t know Please and Thank you go along way to smooth many situations.  However, I learned that extreme pleading and over the top…

Illogical solution

How can I help? When I am totally overwhelmed, it is illogical to serve someone else.  However, one of life’s paradoxes is helping others helps me feel less overwhelmed.  I tested it repeatedly and it works.  It is more fun to do dishes at my kids house than at my own house.  My heart feels…

Self Talk

Growing up with a constant flow of criticism and ways to ‘improve’ myself I have an internal tape that is down right cruel.  My sister and I talk often about how to disrupt the negative tapes in our heads.  The most interesting experiment is when we played Can-you-top-this with our own negative tapes.  Instead of…

Kindness works

Amy Beth Gardner Follow · August 14 · My daughter starts middle school tomorrow. We’ve decorated her locker, bought new uniforms, even surprised her with a new backpack. But tonight just before bed, we did another pre-middle school task that is far more important than the others. I gave her a tube of toothpaste and…