Building your toolbox

I finished Pavelka’s toolbox I have additional tools beyond the ones he mentions.  My counselor worked at making sure I have a well stocked toolbox for how to handle different situations.  I learned not to use a sledge hammer when a ball ping hammer will do.    I still use some of my heavy duty arsenal,…

Pavelka Toolbox

I talk about building a toolbox of useful skills.  This is important for several reasons.  First, recognition that most interpersonal relationship skills can be learned. (You can teach an old dog new tricks.)  Increasing my skills gives me a variety of options on how to handle a situation and make adjustments as a response to…

Anything good?

Can anything good come out of childhood trauma? I read several articles that all relate to each other in my head.  Hopefully I can share them with you in a way the makes sense. Resolving Post-traumatic Stress is a web page that is maintained by a therapist.  He explains in a fairly straight forward way…

Mindfulness

Wow.  Mindfulness is what I would call a MEGA tool.  It helps people with all sorts of issues not just PTSD.  A lot is written about it.  All 3 of my counselors talked about using mindfulness, being present, counting breathes, and several other references.  This to me is like hitting the pause button when you…

Truth

First, I had to know what it was.  My entire childhood was so full of lies to protect ‘family image,’ I didn’t even realize how much I lied.  Sometimes the lies were omitting the truth but that was necessary for my survival.  I would get punished for telling the truth.  If I reported truthfully to…

The ‘B’ word

Once you understand that you have rights to protect it is time to add Boundaries to the tool box.  You can review the page that I have on boundaries.  https://ptsd-acceptingcopingthriving.com/coping/boundaries/ These are the books on Boundaries that my counselors suggested: Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend http://store.cloudtownsend.com/boundaries-softcover-book.html http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454 This book is based…

I have rights

The next basic tool to go in my toolbox was what rights do I have as a human being?  My abusers convinced me I had no rights.  I had no right to expect respect, no right to expect to be fed, no right to expect anything….nothing belonged to me and I existed because they allowed…

Exercise

Exercise is well known for its healthy benefits, emotionally, mentally and physically.  So why don’t more people do it?  An unused tool in your toolbox is the same as not having it in the first place.  My biggest challenge was jumping in and doing too much too soon and crashing out.  I also paid for…

Building a tool box

PTSD follows a life changing event.  Not everyone that has a life changing event has PTSD but everyone with PTSD had a life changing event or series events.  CPTSD, Complex PTSD, is difficult for some people because there is not one main event but many things that build up to create a dysfunctional way of…