I talk about building a toolbox of useful skills. This is important for several reasons. First, recognition that most interpersonal relationship skills can be learned. (You can teach an old dog new tricks.) Increasing my skills gives me a variety of options on how to handle a situation and make adjustments as a response to how things work out. Other people also build toolboxes and I can benefit from learning their perspective. I can add to my toolbox at any time from any source. Pavelka is a health coach I learned about from other health blogs. I like his list and plan to share more of my perspective in later posts. I do recommend checking out his web page. https://pavelka.co.uk/
This is your mind-set toolkit. Bite size and always on hand.
These are the tools that you always have with you and they are ready for you to use at any time. Remember, you are responsible for your own thoughts and feelings, nobody else, so take your tool kit and use it!
The Buck Stops With You!
The only person who is responsible for your life is YOU! That may sound harsh but it can also be enlightening as YOU have control over YOU and nobody else – so if something does not feel right you can change it.
The Power of Now
Enjoy every moment you are living in. The past is not real, it has happened. The future is also not real as it is unknown. Make sure you don’t miss the minute you are in whilst ruminating on the past or worrying about the future.
How do you eat an elephant?
When a big task confronts you, break it down into manageable chunks. Remember also the 3 % rule. Remember John Bird digging his field 1m2 at a time. If you write 1000 words of your book a day, in 3 months you will have a sizeable publication.
HOG – Honest Open and Genuine
Live your life by this rule. Always be HOG and make sure you explain to people how you are feeling in fractious situations.
Before you start to be HOG, make sure you are centred and in a position of power before you explain your feelings.
The Law of Attraction
…is absolute. What you think about, you bring about. If you focus on the bad, more bad will come, but if you focus on how you want things to be and you believe and picture it as though it is already here, it will turn up.
Ask Yourself, What Does He Mean By That?
Before getting upset at someone’s outburst, try and work out why they may have spoken to you in that way. Take yourself out of the situation and look in. Ask if everything is OK and is there anything you can do to help. The chances are that YOU are not the problem even though you may be in the firing line.
The Four Magic Words
I don’t know
Do not follow I’m sorry with ‘BUT’. It negates it and may result in future confrontation.
To avoid procrastination and to achieve a sense of achievement, write a short three item list before you go to bed and put it somewhere prominent. The next day you can immediately focus in on what needs to be done.
The Little Me
If you notice that you have a little voice in your ear giving you a hard time and undermining your confidence, take charge – it may sound like a gremlin but it is actually just you yourself moaning away in your own ear. When you notice this happening, understand that it is The Little Me and physically swipe Little Me (gremlin) off your shoulder. Your thoughts will then be shifted and you can choose to think about something else.
Do you have people in your life who are draining you of energy? Take responsibility. You cannot change them so adapt your behaviour to suit. Delete, use HOG to let them know how you are feeling, or put up your shield to protect yourself.
These are phrases that you say over and over to yourself, or out loud, to shift your mood and get to a state of belief.
All I need is within me now
I am cherished, loved and happy
I am feeling energised and alive
When you are experiencing a negative emotion, acknowledge it, feel the emotion and then with your arms in the air – LET IT GO!
Holding on to negative thought DOES NOT SERVE YOU!
Fill Up Your Self Esteem Tank
It is your responsibility to keep your self esteem tank full. Recognise this and do something everyday to top it up: laugh, take exercise, sing, go see someone who motivates you, read a great book.
Screw it! Just Do It!
Richard Branson’s quick read book. A great title and a great rule. Procrastination steals your time and makes you feel frustrated. Step out of your comfort zone and DO IT. Then enjoy the feeling of achievement.
Keep a journal of all the good things that have happened that day or that week. Notice the small things – they are what make the difference.
Then read it over again to yourself regularly. You will be amazed at how good it makes you feel.
We all experience fear in our lives and we always will. BUT we must remember that we will handle things that come our way – we always have.
For more information/resources to help you sustain a healthy lifestyle join the Pavelka House – it’s FREE. Details pavelka.co.uk