Emotional abuse

Emotional abuse is part of all other abuses.



This article is longer than most but worth the read this is one excerpt from the beginning.

So what is emotional abuse? It involves a regular pattern of verbal offense, threatening, bullying, and constant criticism, as well as more subtle tactics like intimidation, shaming and manipulation. Emotional abuse is used to control and subjugate the other person, and quite often it occurs because the abuser has childhood wounds and insecurities they haven’t dealt with — perhaps as a result of being abused themselves. They didn’t learn healthy coping mechanisms or how to have positive, healthy relationships. Instead, they feel angry, hurt, fearful and powerless.

It goes on to list 30 different signs of emotional abuse.  In my opinion, everyone does some of these from time to time.  People are people and sometimes act like jerks.  What you look for is a pattern.  It might be helpful if you put boxes afterwards with never occasionally sometimes often everyday or some other way to track until you can see the pattern yourself.  The hardest thing for me was I grew up treated with emotional abuse so the concept that I could be treated differently was odd.  Took my counselor several years to get through to me.  I’m still a little slow to pick up on some of them.  I also view these as a list of ‘am I doing any of them myself?’  Sarcasm was part of my everyday language.  When I started college I decided to eliminate it from my vocabulary.  Not successful.  I do try to use it sparingly.  I noticed that when the sarcasm is flowing I am actually angry and I need to ponder what about the situation is triggering the emotion.  I don’t want to be emotional abusive just because that was my childhood.  I can learn healthier ways of interacting with people around me.  Counseling made a huge difference for me.  I’m thankful for having a healthy counselor that could teach me differently.  He did tend to roll his eyes from time to time but acknowledged that he was working on it.  I believe emotional abuse is the basis for all other abuses. Learning to recognize these in myself and others takes me a long ways toward healthier living.


One thought on “Emotional abuse

  1. I admit I love sarcasm. It’s a great way to inject humor, especially when all feels dark. Having said that, I’ve noticed we don’t use it on each other. It’s focused on the situation or someone not present as a way of regaining perspective. What was untenable becomes humorous, not that it’s funny, but we use it as a way to step back and look at something unpleasant differently, especially if we can’t change it. We also use it on ourselves when we realize we’re covering familiar territory. “How’s that working out for you?” Context matters.

    Great article. I noticed I use some of those. Not happy about that. Need to make some changes. Want to make some changes.

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