I follow several other survivors working towards healthier living. Their posts inspire, encourage, and sometimes trigger me. I am sharing a link to Roots to Blossom. I took 4 days to read through her analysis as to why she was abused. Then another day to read all the comments. I recommend reading the comments. Ntexas99 wrote an amazing comment that the reason her father abused her was because “he was weak.” I think this applies to most abusers the words can change to “She was weak” or “They were weak.” Abuse is the behavior of a weak person taking out their fears, frustrations, and twisted thinking out on another person they consider weaker than themselves. Abusers are not looking for a fight, they are looking for someone to hurt that they believe they won’t fight back. I had a similar conversation with my counselor. I accepted that horrible things happened to me because I lived in a neighborhood with a pedophile and my parents were too weak to protect me. My parents self-absorbed neglect set me up to be abused by the pedophile. He picked me because he knew no one was watching over me. There is something powerful for me to recognize that they were the ones that were weak.
I recommend reading all the comments as well as the post. Roots to blossom post is articulate and precise. I felt like she took my feelings and wrote them all down for me. I know they are her feelings and reactions but they are so familiar to me too. The comments are outstanding. https://roots2blossom.wordpress.com/2016/08/23/cpt-trauma-impact-statementwhy-i-think-this-trauma-occurred/
I’m so sorry your childhood was ruined that way. But I must congratulate you on how you are going out of your way to help others. I realise nothing can take away from your experience but I wish you every good fortune for the future.
Thank you.