And a nightmare for me, literally. Some nights I stay awake not because I am thrilled with what I am doing but terrified of letting my brain connect with my subconscious. Nasty things in there and I work hard at keeping them separated.
19. Sleeping.. I’ve slept about 6 hours in the last 48.
Judy’s point of view is listed here: https://theprojectbyjudy.wordpress.com/2017/12/11/self-care-19-of-25/
My worse memories are out of reach of my conscious mind so once I am awake they recede into the dark corners of my mind. Lurking, waiting for me to fall asleep. Some nights I finally slump in front of my computer to sleep for a bit. I know I need to sleep. I read entire books on sleep. I know what I should do and did it more than once. However, when I start sleeping more than 6 hours of sleep a night, the nightmares increase exponentially for every minute beyond 6 hours. I seem to fair the best with the fewest nightmares with right at 5 1/2 hours sleep a night which is almost double what I was getting when I started counseling. Many of my health problems for years were directly linked to my lack of sleep.
These are a few of my past sleep posts:
https://ptsd-acceptingcopingthriving.com/2014/07/17/sleep/ 2014 list of things to try to improve sleep. One that works fairly well for me is sleeping fully dressed. Why that works is beyond me.
https://ptsd-acceptingcopingthriving.com/2017/11/02/nightmares-and-lack-of-sleep/ 2017 links to other sites with suggestions about sleep.
On occasion I will wipe out and sleep for hours…literally coming home from work, collapsing on the couch and not wake up until the next day. Amazing but not often. In the book Bourne Identity, Jason Bourne called sleep a weapon. It restores the body, puts memories in long term storage and all around great self care. Can I say I am sometimes jealous when someone complains/brags about getting too much sleep.
Fortunately I accept that I am an ongoing project and sleep is still a very big challenge.