Looking back to move forward

Emerging from Broken is one of the blogs that is another survivor learning to live.  Learning that their past needs to be acknowledged and accepted before going forward in the healing process. Emerging From Broken “I had been defined by the ways that others treated me. I believed that I didn’t deserve more then what…

Raising Awareness

One of the basic tenants of counseling is raising awareness of what abuse is.  Most people will shake their heads and claim….I do know what it is.  I can’t tell you the shock I felt when emotional abuse was first outlined for me.  This is a link that shares questions to consider if I the…

Sometimes the answer is NO

I put off this question because it is staring me in the face right now….. “Couldn’t we at least…?” This is the question to ask that will enable you to get unstuck, as they say. It’s what enables you to get past disagreement to some consensus, as in couldn’t we at least agree that we…

Still in it

One of the hard things about being raised by a person the violates your boundaries on a daily basis is that you don’t realize when someone else is doing the same thing since it is what you are used to having happen.  Thanks to Jonsi and other internet friends I  became more aware.  In counseling,…

He Was WEAK

I follow several other survivors working towards healthier living.  Their posts inspire, encourage, and sometimes trigger me.  I am sharing a link to Roots to Blossom.  I took 4 days to read through her analysis as to why she was abused.  Then another day to read all the comments.  I recommend reading the comments.  Ntexas99…

Positively Negative

On Facebook friends posted an article about how complaining rewires your brain.  http://truththeory.com/2016/07/11/how-complaining-rewires-your-brain-for-negativity-and-how-to-break-the-habit/ “Spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any better.” ~Unknown The article makes several good points about complaining being a habit, also explains ways to break gripe talk. So why the title?  One of the biggies on the abuser’s must do…

Useless…..totally useless

One of the blogs I follow is Emerging from Broken by Darlene Ouimet. She posted her experience on confronting her abuser/mother.  http://emergingfrombroken.com/to-confront-or-not-to-confront-that-is-the-question/ Darlene points out several of the issues when confronting.  Not wanting to hurt their feelings.  Concern that she would be just like them.  Lack of self care. I also talked to my counselor…

Triangulation

This technique in keeping a victim confused and down is sometimes called ‘bringing out the flying monkeys.’ (Wizard of OZ reference… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SESI19h4wDo ) When an abuser can’t put you down themselves, they enlist others to do their bidding.  Or if they can’t win an argument they will bring in a third party person to ‘gang up’…