Healing and Change

I’ve worked on improving myself for years.  I tried and failed many ways of learning to live.  I recognized very early in my teens that there was something odd about me but I was always the way I was, I didn’t know where to start.  In counseling, I started a focused concentrated healing.  I learned a lot in 10 years.  I learned that many different approaches work.  I get suspicions when someone says there is a one and only way.  People are not one size fits all.  I came across another blog post that suggests 12 steps.  AA also has 12 steps.  Here are the 2 lists….you may want go to the web pages for more insight on each step. I also added my own 12 steps.

How To Begin Rebuilding Your Life And Make It Ridiculously Amazing

1. Make a commitment to yourself

2. Forgive, release and let go of past hurts and resentments

3. Embrace with grace all that you face

4. Visualize your achievements and create your destiny

5. Dreams won’t work unless you do

6. Take one step at a time

7. Develop a deep trust in life

8. Give yourself permission to “fail”

9. Be good to yourself

10. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

11. Discipline your mind to stay present in the NOW

12. Surround yourself with loving and supportive people




 AA list

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

This is what I learned from my experience.

1. Recognize something is lacking or out of step in my life.

2. Survey the damage.

3. Commit to doing something to change myself.

4. Get new information from counselor, books, scriptures, prayer, talking to other people…..I need new information to do something different.  Sometimes it is old information from a new perspective.

5. Make a plan.  (Personally, I pray about the plan and ask Heavenly Father if I am headed in the right direction.)

6. Break the plan down into small pieces.

7. Take baby steps.  (I learned I could do anything for 5 minutes.  A lot of 5 minutes together can get me through a day.)

8. As time passes, review progress.

9.  Make course corrections as needed.

10. Recognize and acknowledge my own progress.

11.  Connect with people.  I can learn something from everyone….either a good example of what to do or an example of what doesn’t work.  Life is too short to make all possible mistakes myself…I choose to learn from others.

12. Share what I learn.

I suggest making your own 12 steps to move from where you are now to where you would like to be.

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