Don’t do this

Every once in a while I come across a very challenging article.  I am going to share my perspective on each of these.

Stupid Phrases for People in Crisis

 http://communicatingacrossboundariesblog.com/2015/09/28/stupid-phrases-for-people-in-crisis/

I use some of these phrases…I don’t use others.  I’m going to explore them from my perspective.  Please, remember this is my understanding from my experience.  I am a work in progress.

Here we go….starting out with a biggy that I don’t use.

God will never give you more than you can handle.

This one I believe is taken out of context. I believe the original reference has to do with temptation.  That we will not be tempted more than we can handle.

 I Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

God also reassures us we are all sinners so there seems a definite contradiction.   My belief is God created a world that can break anything.  I lived in Spokane, Washington when Mount Saint Helen’s blew.  We lived hundreds of miles away and were covered in ash.  Add to volcanoes, tsunami, earthquakes, army ants, tornadoes, fires, and I could keep writing for pages of all the disasters that have rocked this world.  This list doesn’t include anything that humans do to each other.  This is not a peaceful kumbaya planet.  Also in the scriptures is the request by God that we bring Him a broken heart and a contrite spirit.  Neither one of these is peaceful.  What I do believe is there is nothing so bad that God can’t turn it to my good.  Nothing so horrible that I do that God can’t help me straighten it out.  My job is to stop putting limits on what God can handle.

I broke.  I was 5 years old and I broke in pieces.  Those pieces helped me survive horrible life experiences.  I believed at the time that God abandoned me.   First Christmas after I started counseling and started remembering, I didn’t celebrate Christmas.  I was angry at Heavenly Father.  I felt He let me down, none to gently either.  More liked smashed to bits.  However, He taught me bit by bit, line upon line, that He sent Jesus Christ to suffer and die so that Christ could understand my anguish.  I believe in Christ.  I believe I need to stop underestimating God’s power to turn evil for good.

Matthew 19:26 But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

Over time and many hours of pondering I came to the conclusion that in Heavenly Father’s eyes I am whole.  I believe that anything that is broken is healed through Jesus Christ so when He picks me up I am not broken.  I am learning that in life we can dance in the rain.

 

It gets better.

This is a true statement and one that I’ve used with a qualifier now.  I used it often before counseling.  After counseling, I understood that this phrase does not help the person that is hurting right now.  I banged my toe on Saturday.  It turned spectacular shades of purple; I worried a bit if I might have broken it.  I knew my toe would get better but at the moment of pain, I couldn’t think about it getting better eventually, I hurt right then.  (Yes, it is feeling better now, but it still hurt like crazy on Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, you get the picture.)  Telling a person that is hurting in the moment that it gets better may sound reassuring; unfortunately, it often comes off as dismissing present pain and suffering.

I’ll continue with this later.  Chin up, I’m cheering for you and me.

RM3_8593

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