One thing I learned from reading other people’s blogs is the problem of deciding, “Who’s responsibility is it?” Many people that feel overwhelmed and exhausted often take on the responsibilities of others. From an early age, I was taught to care for my mother instead of expecting my mother to care for me. I took on more and more responsibilities that didn’t belong to me. I was praised for doing this. My counselor started the difficult task to put down the burdens that weren’t mine in the first place. Sadly, the pattern repeated with my children caring for me. My un-diagnosed PTSD reached critical point while my children were growing up. My children took up the slack when I couldn’t care for the family. I feel sad that I taught my children the same thing I did to take on someone else’s job. I worked in work places where others dump off their work on to someone else then the person picking up the extra work feels overwhelmed and exhausted. I was blessed with a counselor that gave me a list of questions to ask myself when facing a big responsibility.
- Is it my job to do?
- What are my resources?
- Is there someone that I can ask for help?
- Am I willing to share the responsibility?
As I move through the holidays, I use these questions to remind myself what I need to be doing and what are my options. It is not my responsibility to make Christmas perfect for everyone. I can help or assist but it is not my responsibility. One of the memes on Facebook that help me keep this in mind, “This is not my circus and these are not my monkeys.”