Got a hole in your bucket

One of the books I read a few years ago wrote about filling your own bucket.  (How full is your Bucket? The theory following air flight attendants advice of put on your own oxygen mask before trying to help someone else.  Over the years I learned that PTSD punches a hole in my bucket.  Sometimes a bucket is punched with so many holes the water runs out as fast as it goes in.  Counseling taught me how to mend holes in my bucket.  Please understand, a counselor can not magically fix all the holes in your bucket.  If a counselor claims such a thing, I recommend looking for a different counselor.  The teaching process is slow and arduous.  I am of the belief that hard is not a bad thing.  I appreciate those things that I strive for.  The harder I work at it the better I seem to feel when I meet my goal.  I can also get discouraged, if I am set up to fail by myself or someone else.  Yes, sometimes I am my own worse enemy.  In my journey to healing I was blessed with a counselor that was a pro at bucket filling.  At the end of each session he assured me that I could heal and I was important.  At first I discounted anything he said that was positive.  He addressed my total neglect of any compliments or bucket filling.  I shrugged and replied, “I don’t need to duck a compliment.”  I didn’t pay attention to them because I did not view them as essential to my day to day survival.  After years of working on healing, I now understand why my counselor spent many sessions teaching me to mend the holes and fill my own bucket.  I still struggle with positive self talk but I am noticing an improvement.  PTSD exists because major holes get punched in someone’s bucket.  Heal the holes, heal the soul.


RM5_0219Go get’em tiger.

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