One of the books I read a few years ago wrote about filling your own bucket.  (How full is your Bucket? http://strengths.gallup.com/114079/Full-Bucket.aspx) The theory following air flight attendants advice of put on your own oxygen mask before trying to help someone else.  Over the years I learned that PTSD punches a hole in my bucket.  Sometimes a bucket is punched with so many holes the water runs out as fast as it goes in.  Counseling taught me how to mend holes in my bucket.  Please understand, a counselor can not magically fix all the holes in your bucket.  If a counselor claims such a thing, I recommend looking for a different counselor.  The teaching process is slow and arduous.  I am of the belief that hard is not a bad thing.  I appreciate those things that I strive for.  The harder I work at it the better I seem to feel when I meet my goal.  I can also get discouraged, if I am set up to fail by myself or someone else.  Yes, sometimes I am my own worse enemy.  In my journey to healing I was blessed with a counselor that was a pro at bucket filling.  At the end of each session he assured me that I could heal and I was important.  At first I discounted anything he said that was positive.  He addressed my total neglect of any compliments or bucket filling.  I shrugged and replied, “I don’t need to duck a compliment.”  I didn’t pay attention to them because I did not view them as essential to my day to day survival.  After years of working on healing, I now understand why my counselor spent many sessions teaching me to mend the holes and fill my own bucket.  I still struggle with positive self talk but I am noticing an improvement.  PTSD exists because major holes get punched in someone’s bucket.  Heal the holes, heal the soul.

Go get’em tiger.