One of the interesting things I learned from my counselor was to limit the time I work each day on improving my life with PTSD.  He stressed the importance of setting aside only one hour a day to focus on past, journal writing, studying and other activities focused on healing.  He explained that I needed to live.  If I spent all my time on trying to bind up broken places, I had no time to live.  He pointed out in my case that I could spend 24/7 trying to repair damage and I would still have more to do.  He cautioned me repeatedly to sit it aside for most of the day.  At first I didn’t understand what he meant.  My photography helped me to understand.  I love taking pictures of things up close.  When I get very close the object can fill the whole frame until nothing else fits in.  If I hyper focus on healing PTSD, I don’t have room for anything else.  I am working at putting the good stuff in time with family/friends, crocheting, puzzles, games, cleaning, just the basic things that make up life.  I like the Mason Jar and the golf ball story.

http://www.pickchur.com/2011/03/golf-balls-in-the-jar-the-philosophy-professor/

The moral of the story being that the little stuff will take up as much room as you let it.  Take care of the big stuff first.  Then take time for the other stuff.

I was bewildered by his recommendation, actually more of a command.  Until I started focusing each day on other stuff besides PTSD.  I still continued to chip away at recognizing triggers, healing, remembering, processing emotions, and other aspects involved in healing.  I noticed I was self punishing by denying myself the simple pleasures of live.  I don’t need to be punished for having PTSD.  I do need to spend time with the people and activities that bring me joy.

Focusing on PTSD, after awhile that is all I see.