Still

I was looking for the author of the poem that I posted on my other blog.  http://weareone-ruth.blogspot.com/2018/05/healing-is-messy.html The poem appealed to me because I felt like there was someone else besides me that seems to think it is OK to be messy while we heal and that after healing life is still messy.   So I was looking to see if anyone laid claim to the poem and I found this video.  Jeff Foster titles the video Deepest acceptance.  I am startled when I encounter someone else that is saying what I am believing.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRLKZN1LRFM  Less than 10 minutes it says that sadness still being part of life after healing is acceptable.  As mother day creeps up each year I become a morass of sadness and longing and regret and joy.  It is like I am a train wreck for a week.  I’m sad that I do not have a relationship with my mother.  I long for something I can not have.  I regret the mistakes I made as a mother.  I feel intense joy by my amazing children, their spouses, and grandchildren.  I feel like Jeff is telling me the lie is that I should be over my feelings.  He states that my heart still feels these things I no longer need to beat myself up because I still feel sad, longing, regret and joy.  My second counselor also discussed sitting and holding emotions when they come into my life.  Distress comes when I push away, deny, and bury my emotions.  My job in my mind is not to be overwhelmed by what I feel and I agree that it is ironic that holding emotions is what helps in the healing process.  I’m planning to view a few more of his videos.  A perspective I agree with and hadn’t found expressed so openly by someone else, until now.

 

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