Self Esteem Challenge

A survivor of child abuse knows that their self esteem bucket had holes punched all over it…Some of their buckets were run over by a semi-truck and trailer.  Some abuse survivors can still hear the ‘beep, beep, beep’ of that truck backing up.  Words like what Pavelka mentions for his toolbox seem like a foreign…

Unproductive Blues

In today’s fast paced World, people treat you like a criminal if you have an unproductive day.  Epitaphs such as lazy, slug, bum, and other cruel name calling come your way.  Here’s the deal, I would love to be productive but my get up and go, got up and went without me.  I remember as…

Self Punishment vs depression

There are times in my life when depression has the upper hand and makes my life miserable.  I feel like I need a gold star for getting out of bed.  I drag around barely able to function.  I do nothing that I enjoy.  Life sucks. Self punishment is when I am feeling fairly healthy.  I…

Limit time

One of the interesting things I learned from my counselor was to limit the time I work each day on improving my life with PTSD.  He stressed the importance of setting aside only one hour a day to focus on past, journal writing, studying and other activities focused on healing.  He explained that I needed…

Last Straw

People seem to expect that the final reason a person leaves a relationship is something big.  Sometimes this is true.  However, many times it is a matter of ‘the last straw that broke the camels back.’  The term refers to the piling on and piling on of events or behaviors that put so much stain…

Are you filling your bucket?

I read the book How Full is your Bucket?  http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=how+full+is+your+bucket Others picked up on the idea of filling your own personal bucket by filling other people’s bucket. Recently on Facebook I came across a link on how to fill children’s buckets.  http://www.bucketfillers101.com/bucket-lessons.php The most important thing I learned is I do more damage to my…

Self care

One of the challenges of CPTSD is the long time belief that I am not worth taking care of.  I work at reminding myself that I am worth taking care of myself.  Nurturing, tender, proper care is not self indulgence.  It is taking the time to take care of myself in a healthy way.  Self…

Be kind to people

I found a web page on 16 ways to help someone with PTSD.  After reading it several times, I decided it is great suggestion on how to treat almost anyone.  (I always use a qualifier since there are some people it doesn’t matter how you behave they are determined to make life miserable.) My comments…

Strategize

I like to share other people’s point of view.  This is from Warrior’s Landing. Warrior’s Landing If you are wondering why you have difficulty surrounding holidays and/or anniversaries of traumatic dates – YOU ARE NOT ALONE. These dates can creep up on us and without realizing it often weeks or more before, the trauma Injury…

Unexpected Side Effect

Cloud and Townsend, in their book Boundaries, reminded me one of the unexpected side effects of setting boundaries.  In the process of setting boundaries, I identify my needs.  I remember the first time my counselor asked me what I wanted.  I looked at him blankly.  I had no idea.  As I selected my rights and…